For Review: HRC @ Steak Fry & DSCC fundraiser

Dan

Before engaging, how much of the Harkin draft is she wed to so I don't do my usual too many line edits?

I just skimmed the top - and b/c I am so used to her now speaking in less partisan but compelling tones, this tonally strikes me quite a bit. 

To be clear, Not sure we can walk any other line at a classic dem red meat event but listening to WJC last night - he made the case for we needed to be for and why that was a stronger future for everyone, which was compelling. 

So before digging in, can you give me  where she is on this draft?

cdm

> On Sep 8, 2014, at 10:11 PM, Dan Schwerin  wrote:
> 
> All, tomorrow HRC is doing her first political event, a DSCC women’s fundraiser at Whitehaven.  Then, as you know, she’s doing the Harkin Steak Fry over the weekend. 
> 
> I’m attaching draft remarks for both events and would love your feedback.  
> 
> I’ve drawn from the narratives we discussed with her last week (and it would still be great to get your comments on that as well), plus requests from the candidates, and some past speeches, etc.  I imagine folks will have more to say about the Steak Fry, but please look at the DSCC as well since its more urgent.
> 
> Thanks
> Dan
> 
> 
> <2014-09-08 - Harkin Steak Fry - 9pm.docx>
> <2014-09-08 DSCC.docx>

She hasn't seen this yet so isn't wed to anything.



> On Sep 9, 2014, at 6:12 AM, "Cheryl Mills"  wrote:
> 
> 
> Dan
> 
> Before engaging, how much of the Harkin draft is she wed to so I don't do my usual too many line edits?
> 
> I just skimmed the top - and b/c I am so used to her now speaking in less partisan but compelling tones, this tonally strikes me quite a bit. 
> 
> To be clear, Not sure we can walk any other line at a classic dem red meat event but listening to WJC last night - he made the case for we needed to be for and why that was a stronger future for everyone, which was compelling. 
> 
> So before digging in, can you give me  where she is on this draft?
> 
> cdm
> 
>> On Sep 8, 2014, at 10:11 PM, Dan Schwerin  wrote:
>> 
>> All, tomorrow HRC is doing her first political event, a DSCC women’s fundraiser at Whitehaven.  Then, as you know, she’s doing the Harkin Steak Fry over the weekend. 
>> 
>> I’m attaching draft remarks for both events and would love your feedback.  
>> 
>> I’ve drawn from the narratives we discussed with her last week (and it would still be great to get your comments on that as well), plus requests from the candidates, and some past speeches, etc.  I imagine folks will have more to say about the Steak Fry, but please look at the DSCC as well since its more urgent.
>> 
>> Thanks
>> Dan
>> 
>> 
>> <2014-09-08 - Harkin Steak Fry - 9pm.docx>
>> <2014-09-08 DSCC.docx>

Happy to discuss on a call.
--On the contrast issue, I thought the tone she had at Terry's event
worked well and I'm comfortable with what's here.  I think we need to
avoid naming the opponent or invoking the Republicans generally, which
you do.
--I think she should mention all the candidates, including Hatch.  But
Braley should have the spotlight.
--I'm comfortable cutting 20/20, especially if we're looking for
trims...I agree we haven't hit the sweet spot and we should continue
to work with it.


On Tue, Sep 9, 2014 at 11:53 AM, Dan Schwerin  wrote:
> All, I am revising the Steak Fry based on your feedback but wanted to flag a
> few issues for discussion:
>
> DSCC — No comments on this yet, so I’m assuming its basically fine, although
> revisions to Steak Fry will carry over.
> We can do better — Jake asked whether this comes off as a dig at the
> President and Cheryl expressed discomfort with it, preferring maybe “we’re
> better than that” or some other device. PIR, perhaps you’d like to make the
> case?
> Contrasts — The current draft takes the same approach to drawing contrasts
> as we did at the Terry rally, avoiding mentioning Republicans by name but
> laying out a choice, for example between moving forward and backward, or
> raising the minimum wage or eliminating it.  Cheryl questioned whether this
> might still be too hot and partisan and might prefer just saying “we have a
> choice whether to move forward” and avoid spelling out the alternative. And
> in general she’s concerned about amping up the partisanship. Robby thinks
> this is the minimum we can get away with from the activists and maybe should
> even have more red meat, like “corporations now have all the rights of
> people and none of the responsibilities"
> Hatch and Braley — Huma reports that Harry Reid and Tom Vilsack both
> encouraged us to pump up Hatch, the long-shot candidate for governor.  Robby
> thinks Braley needs to be more the centerpiece of the speech than he is now,
> and perhaps would pick one of his issues, like the minimum wage, to really
> focus on rather than the current litany.
> HRC personal story — The current draft focuses more on Harkin’s personal
> story than HRC’s, which is in keeping with what we discussed with her in our
> meeting, but Robby thinks we need more on Dorothy and Hugh to avoid this
> sounding like a speech any generic Dem could give.
> 20/20 — The forward looking “future vision” section near the end is working
> right now, but I’m not sure how to fix.  Anyone have any brilliant ideas for
> improving it, or should we just cut and try it later when we’ve figured out
> a better way to do it?
>
> ________________________________
> From: Dan Schwerin [dschwerin@hrcoffice.com]
> Sent: Monday, September 08, 2014 10:11 PM
> To: Cheryl Mills; Philippe Reines; Robert Mook; Jake Sullivan; John Podesta;
> Huma Abedin; Nick Merrill
> Cc: Ethan Gelber
> Subject: For Review: HRC @ Steak Fry & DSCC fundraiser
>
> All, tomorrow HRC is doing her first political event, a DSCC women’s
> fundraiser at Whitehaven.  Then, as you know, she’s doing the Harkin Steak
> Fry over the weekend.
>
> I’m attaching draft remarks for both events and would love your feedback.
>
> I’ve drawn from the narratives we discussed with her last week (and it would
> still be great to get your comments on that as well), plus requests from the
> candidates, and some past speeches, etc.  I imagine folks will have more to
> say about the Steak Fry, but please look at the DSCC as well since its more
> urgent.
>
> Thanks
> Dan
>
>

1. DSCC — No comments on this yet, so I’m assuming its basically fine, although revisions to Steak Fry will carry over.
2. We can do better — Jake asked whether this comes off as a dig at the President and Cheryl expressed discomfort with it, preferring maybe “we’re better than that” or some other device. PIR, perhaps you’d like to make the case?
3. Contrasts — The current draft takes the same approach to drawing contrasts as we did at the Terry rally, avoiding mentioning Republicans by name but laying out a choice, for example between moving forward and backward, or raising the minimum wage or eliminating it.  Cheryl questioned whether this might still be too hot and partisan and might prefer just saying “we have a choice whether to move forward” and avoid spelling out the alternative. And in general she’s concerned about amping up the partisanship. Robby thinks this is the minimum we can get away with from the activists and maybe should even have more red meat, like “corporations now have all the rights of people and none of the responsibilities"
4. Hatch and Braley — Huma reports that Harry Reid and Tom Vilsack both encouraged us to pump up Hatch, the long-shot candidate for governor.  Robby thinks Braley needs to be more the centerpiece of the speech than he is now, and perhaps would pick one of his issues, like the minimum wage, to really focus on rather than the current litany. 
5. HRC personal story — The current draft focuses more on Harkin’s personal story than HRC’s, which is in keeping with what we discussed with her in our meeting, but Robby thinks we need more on Dorothy and Hugh to avoid this sounding like a speech any generic Dem could give.  
6. 20/20 — The forward looking “future vision” section near the end is working right now, but I’m not sure how to fix.  Anyone have any brilliant ideas for improving it, or should we just cut and try it later when we’ve figured out a better way to do it?