Re: TS

ok no worry

On Wed, Aug 8, 2018 at 10:40 PM, [redacted] < [redacted] > wrote:
I looked at my skype - yes, she messaged me at around 10 pm.

Shortly before that, from almost nothing, I got a feeling of distrust and defensiveness. I felt like I am going against my insides to speak to someone we know zero about, about you. Either way I am concerned, if the person does not know your last name, that it would somehow turn into a meal ticket in and of that fact. And that if they do know it, that it is part of a plan. It is hard to convey a certain feeling so I will try to dissect what it could be and put it at the level of my mind and not my insides in order to do so.

The South African mentality is extremely narrow minded and loose mouthed which I do not trust around you in this capacity. Unless they are male. Actually, I don't trust them either, because of the former island manager. With our currency it would be very easy to set oneself up for life if they go after you, made easier by women's voices having complete priority, men cant even suggest that both sides of a story be taken into account or at least heard, without an outcry being made. So now girls have both the ability to say anything about a man, could be getting crazy ideas in their heads, precedents of "business plans" and a feeling of entitlement to be a victim after harmless encounters. And what I see is a girl who seems to like publicity, attention and to be a "hero" for lack of a better word.

Its isn't comfortable, because I want you to have everything you want, I do, but my knee jerk reaction is so so powerful to protect you. And it is that that wins out inside of me.

[ did speak to my closest friend but I even disregard what she says because it is someones opinion on someone else and she didn't know the context I was asking in. It was stuff anyone could say, like the girl is not very intelligent, always talking, and typical. But once again its the typical that bothers me)It almost feels to me like its similar to people in US that have not been exposed to one of the main cities. But still a little different because as whites we were in a privileged (relatively speaking) unrealistic bubble.]

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