Re: catalyst
I don't think will be able to help me today so I am sending this without having her input and I hope you can help me work on the details. If we by to put this relationship back together and I come to Florida, here is what I propose;
I will do my best not to be negative or complain especially regarding other girls. If 1accidentally say something, you find bothersome, I ask you to remind me. We on have a word meaning I need to stop whatever I am doing or talking about- 'kvakash' is a funny Slovak expression for nagging.
The big problem as I understand it, was the lack of balance between play time and responsibility time. So I'd like to define and separate the time I spend helping, contributing to the relationship, the time I spend doing things for myself, and the quality time we spend together.
- The maJcsity of time I can learn thins helpful to practice cooking rave you facials rub your head run errands entertain your female Quests or anything else I describe below... I am uncertain about how else I can be of help right now after not having seen you for 6 weeks. I am not sure if your routine has changed so I need you to tell me what you'd like me to do when I am with you.
When you ask for something I will do it right away or let you know if 1 can't.
I will read one of the great bonks every six weeks.
I will continue to exercise at least 3x a week, Probably more (except when sick or on my period)
I will continue to learn to cooking as I know I need help in this department.
I can make breakfast for you x times a week - ask you the evening before or Just have set days...you should tell me which way you prefer. I am not sure if you still eat oatmeal/muffins and then eggs a little later or you Just have one meal now - should I do the second breakfast or the early one?
EFTA00765632
I enjoy learning about eggs, trying different recipes, ways to cook them, temperatures, getting the timing perfect for each style.. I now understand it takes going through hundreds of eggs, different brands, and doing the same thing over and over again until it's right, but I still have a lot to learn. The possibilities and the dishes are endless and exciting so I think it could be fun for you if I really made that my specialty and was able to make eggs better than you could get them anywhere else. Correct me if I am wrong. I do understand that you'd like me to learn to cook, not just make eggs. This is just a start. When we agree I perfected that, I will learn to cook something else...appetizers, vegetables, meat...you choose what you like.
The way I learn is clearly not the same as the way you learn and I need you to accept that. After learning the basics, getting some instruction, the key for me is to practice on my own. I can't skip this part and just listen to the teachers or practice with them. I don't expect to be good at something after taking a class until I actually do it a few times on my own. Learning to land was a perfect example. I saw how it was done, I understood the concept, I knew the steps, yet I still couldn't do it until I spent hours alone in the plane, experimented, made mistakes and finally got it... Not by listening to the instructions - although I agree I needed that to understand the very basics - but by trying different methods. And that's how I'd like to approach cooking and anything else I try to learn to be helpful.
One of the other difficulties for me was not understanding when you want me to take care of something personally and when it is ok to let Janush or someone else handle it, so I'd like you to be clear about it or I will ask you.
As organizing my time has been a problem, ! think it might be a good Idea for me to have 2 days a week off • without errands and responsibilities when I can go flying, get a massage or whatever my hobby might be at the time and not feel guilty about it. These can be any 2 days we decide; I can put them on the schedule at the beginning of each week. The rest of the time all week I am happy to devote to helping and doing things for you. I think it will take the pressure off and allow me to focus on working during the other days knowing I will have some time for myself later.
It is also important to me to have alone quality time with you • watch a movie or eat together, have visitation or go for a walk once you can leave the house. You can give me a suggestion as to how we do this. I don't want to schedule it where you feel forced to spend time but I'd like to make sure we don't forget
I am realty sorry for making you unhappy and being a burden. I love to see you have fun, giggle and have that look like you are up to something. I want to be a catalyst for that, not an obstacle. This will be difficult and I understand your reservations but I'd like to make it work and I am wllhng to by my best. I love you and Ball-e misses your routine
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EFTA00765633
this is constructive, thank you. we need a mechanism to deal with failures.. I need time to myself. i lived in jail for over a year with people around all the time, I cherish my private time, this may include other you know whats. I've even asked igor to leave me alone. myschedule is as follows.. I get up at 6-630. I would like or jinky to serve , and have a choice. the food , muffins , should be fresh, not 5 days old. i excericse for an hour or so., i will need trainers, yoga people, stretchers. , then i take a steam ,and get a massage and or facial this takes me to around 12 oclock. IF there are scientists or guests. i have lunch at 1. and or go to the office. dinner is no later than 5. unless scienctist. I need nothing between 1 - 5.. unless someone is here. I do not want any restrictions on my acitivities, if so, this will not work, I am embarassed , by what i have agreed to do in the past. in an attempt to prove to you that you are special. looking back makes me ill. The problem was not the lack of balance at all. the problem was you did not contribute to my life. in ways that i needed. there was no balance there was only what you wanted. If you find yourself in a bad mood , you need to take it away from me, go flyying driving, but you need to earn the right to be around in one of your moods. I think this must be clearly understood. I hope to see you tomorrow.
I need you to be more specific. Which of these things would you like me to be a part of? You write "I wake up, I eat, I get a facial..." Does that mean you already have someone to do it for you or is this what want me to do?
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