London blog 15: Better than match.com!
Due to privacy I'm not going to post this on Wordpress.
FABULOUS JOB
After 16 months, I've landed a fabulous job! Assistant to the top guy at a
global financial firm - which clearly is doing really well:
The reception area is +300 sqm and the ceiling six floors high. Windows
floor-to-ceiling and it feels like being in 'Vanilla Sky'. There's just a
small reception with two small sofas all the way back by the massive
windows. The other 95% of the enormous space is just empty. One needs to
put on walking shoes just to reach the reception!
At the reception there is no company sign, not even a pen with the company
logo on it.
The message is clear: "We have so fucking much money we're not going to use
this space for ANYTHING and we're so big we won't even bother to put a sign
on the door!"
When you're really big and bad, you don't need to push your weight around,
all you need is a big, empty space.
I'm home.
FACEBOOK
After being very sceptical to Facebook, too much time on my hands made me
into a Facebook abuser and I figured out that Facebook is tremendously
useful to find out completely useless information about people you know!
Gossip just got a whole new meaning to it!
NEW FLAT
Moved in to my absolute dream flat! It's just gorgeous! I'm in love! It's a
one year old building with all the latest gadgets. The flat came with a
huge, bound manual with a silver plate engraving. It includes everything
from how to wash the toilette, manuals of all the gadgets to the bus
schedule.
The only thing the manual didn't cover was how to lock the door. It took me
an hour to figure that one out. All new technology really isn't that
intuitive...
THE OVEN
OK... it's embarrassing, but I had to consult the manual to learn how to
operate the oven. I haven't had an oven since 2009.
THE STOVE
I called facilities to get the light above those hot plates in the kitchen
working. I said that the light had probably never worked, but I had never
used the hot plates so I wouldn't know.
"But you moved in there 6 weeks ago and you never turned your stove on?"
"...stove... is that some online concierge like Siri on my iPad...?
In the end I figured out that you need to TURN THE LIGHT ON... Reminds me
of that time in Dubai when I entered my car and waited for the car to turn
itself on...
REEBOK - BEST BOYFRIEND
Lately, I've been closing down the gym every evening! I'm just waiting for
the staff to tell me: "Please leave or we will have to call security."
After a tough class I'm a lose cannon and should just be going home. Case
in point:
I asked some random guy to stretch me...
One of the UK fitness competition winners walked by and I said to him:
"If I tell you punching someone in the stomach is better than having sex,
can I punch you in the stomach???"
He was happy to let me punch him in the stomach, but I should've known
better. It was like punching a wall and I hurt my wrists.
Some guy walks up to me in class: "Oh it's you! The girl in the pink
top!"
Me with big question mark on my face: "Huh...?"
"You modelled the pink top in the Reebok shop for me!"
"Right...this is officially embarrassing..."Me to sales lady in Reebok shop: "I'm going to bend over so you can
check if these tights are transparent."
"Oh god, I'm not getting paid enough for this...!"
In my defence, the Reebok tights are notoriously transparent...
TWO OUT OF THREE
Fabulous job. Fabulous flat. Only thing missing is a fabulous boyfriend,
however, I'll be working on a trading floor with 600 men and will be the
only woman in one of the five glass offices... This will be better than
match.com!!!
Much love to everyone!
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