Re: Note

I understand why my requests for help is =ot of the utmost importance with everything you are dealing with now and 1=can understand that.

I was always a listening ear for you. =ou know, I remember your story of a chance meeting on a rainy day that cha=ged your life and gave you an opportunity to succeed and it's a great =tory that perhaps many people don't know about you. I loved your story= you buying a car, that you allowed a man to drive to make money during th= day so that you would have a ride to and from work, so that you would not=have to take the subway relentlessly everyday (I don't blame you).=C2 Besides that, being mathematically brilliant, your life path only le= you on a journey to financial success with the chance meeting of a promin=nt figure I don't need to mention. I always loved hearing yo=r stories and they inspired me. You are a smart and brilliant man a=d that is the story that should be told. I am not sure why in your l=fe you strayed to find recognition from the public and perhaps that was yo=r downfall, after leading such a private life. Maybe you got richer,=or grew a bigger ego, but that is something you will only know. Beca=se you never really discussed your family to me, it seemed they were a dis=ant factor, and perhaps that is another story that is untold as to why you=had such a drive in life or why you became who you are. In my eyes, =our mission was to free yourself from the realities of Coney Island and th=t lifestyle and perhaps things you would like to forget.

You al=ays said to me, "Ask yourself whether it could hurt you".=C2 This was whenever I was unsure to take a risk in life or questioned =omething. And, I still stand by that. Can it hurt expressing m=self and really letting someone know how I feel? Well, clearly speak=ng the truth to my brother-in-law, may come back to bite me, but at least = was able to relieve myself of bottling my experiences. Sometimes wh=t we do in life affects people more than we can realize and it goes both w=ys.

I know life is short and in the grand scheme of things and th= shit we are dealt are sometimes lessons we need to learn, regardless that=we try to avoid them. I am just curious to know how you feel sometim=s as to all the shit that surrounds you. Once a private man and now =urrounded by all these negative accusations. I just wish for you and=obviously I don't know why sometimes I feel so concerned, not only=because I have been brought into things in the past, that you are okay. =AO I think it is because I still care.

With all the experi=nces I was privileged to through you, I will always be grateful and I must=let you know that. But let me tell you, coming back to my little sma=1reality that you could never understand how I provided for myself on suc= a small salary and high rent, was a difficult one. The glimpse into=a world that I will never see again, was not necessarily damaging, but def=nitely an eye opener. I also tended and still stay very private abou= my experiences and so that makes it sort of tougher on me. At that =ime, I was young and hid my adventurous nature from my family and friends.=C2 Unfortunately, secrets don't last forever.

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I =o feel that for some reason it is within the universe to bring out the tru=h, especially right now, and things are coming to the surface. There=is no hiding and with me having a scientific, yet a spiritual outlook on l=fe, maybe there is a reason, why now. So why now? Maybe your p=ople can answer that. :-)

Sometimes I get frustrated questioning why I have defended you after all that has surfaced thro=ghout the years. But I have. I do wonder though. And may=e I turned a blind eye.

Just know, I come from a place of love, l=have always, even with sometimes coming off with frustrations in the past =nd out of desperation sometimes with problems that I have to deal with in =y "little" world. Just know it makes a bigger impact=on me not having the defenses needed to protect my boundaries.

I=E2 m just curious, knowing your beliefs, interests and influence in s=ience and specific scientists who I was once again privileged to have met =hrough you and admire, what is your theory on the purpose and reason for a=l of this? And when will you right a book or be portrayed in a film?=And if so, maybe I could help give insight from an outside perspective. =C2

"Every atom in your =ody came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand proba=ly came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most =oetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust.

An=way, thanks for trying to help me with my recent issues.

sorry ,