Note

I understand why my requests for help is not of the utmost importance with everything you are dealing with now and I can understand that.

I was always a listening ear for you. You know, I remember your story of a chance meeting on a rainy day that changed your life and gave you an opportunity to succeed and it's a great story that perhaps many people don't know about you. I loved your story, you buying a car, that you allowed a man to drive to make money during the day so that you would have a ride to and from work, so that you would not have to take the subway relentlessly everyday (I don't blame you). Besides that, being mathematically brilliant, your life path only led you on a journey to financial success with the chance meeting of a prominent figure I don't need to mention. I always loved hearing your stories and they inspired me. You are a smart and brilliant man and that is the story that should be told. I am not sure why in your life you strayed to find recognition from the public and perhaps that was your downfall, after leading such a private life. Maybe you got richer, or grew a bigger ego, but that is something you will only know. Because you never really discussed your family to me, it seemed they were a distant factor, and perhaps that is another story that is untold as to why you had such a drive in life or why you became who you are. In my eyes, your mission was to free yourself from the realities of Coney Island and that lifestyle and perhaps things you would like to forget.

You always said to me, "Ask yourself whether it could hurt you." This was whenever I was unsure to take a risk in life or questioned something. And, I still stand by that. Can it hurt expressing myself and really letting someone know how I feel? Well, clearly speaking the truth to my brother-in-law, may come back to bite me, but at least I was able to relieve myself of bottling my experiences. Sometimes what we do in life affects people more than we can realize and it goes both ways.

I know life is short and in the grand scheme of things and the shit we are dealt are sometimes lessons we need to learn, regardless that we try to avoid them. I am just curious to know how you feel sometimes as to all the shit that surrounds you. Once a private man and now surrounded by all these negative accusations. I just wish for you and obviously I don't know why sometimes I feel so concerned, not only because I have been brought into things in the past, that you are okay. I think it is because I still care.

With all the experiences I was privileged to through you, I will always be grateful and I must let you know that. But let me tell you, coming back to my little small reality that you could never understand how I provided for myself on such a small salary and high rent, was a difficult one. The glimpse into a world that I will never see again, was not necessarily damaging, but definitely an eye opener. I also tended and still stay very private about my experiences and so that makes it sort of tougher on me. At that time, I was young and hid my adventurous nature from my family and friends. Unfortunately, secrets don't last forever.

I do feel that for some reason it is within the universe to bring out the truth, especially right now, and things are coming to the surface. There is no hiding and with me having a scientific yet a spiritual outlook on life, maybe there is a reason, why now. So why now? Maybe your people can answer that. :-)

Sometimes I get frustrated questioning why I have defended you after all that has surfaced throughout the years. But I have. I do wonder though. And maybe I turned a blind eye.

Just know, I come from a place of love, I have always, even with sometimes coming off with frustrations in the past and out of desperation sometimes with problems that I have to deal with in my "little" world. Just know it makes a bigger impact on me not having the defenses needed to protect my boundaries.

I'm just curious, knowing your beliefs, interests and influence in science and specific scientists who I was once again privileged to have met through you and admire what is your theory on the purpose and reason for all of this? And when will you write a book or be portrayed in a film? And if so, maybe I could help give insight from an outside perspective.

"Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust.

Anyway, thanks for trying to help me with my recent issues.