(no subject)
I have =eft paris for california. I wish you well.=C2. I have little reason to trust anything you say. af=er many times promises agreements. pledges all broken. =C2. To suggest that my giving in to your crying , whing, and=stupidity , was the wrong thing to do . and I should have not =elped earlier is typical of your convoluted way of thinking
I have never said=that. You are so used in manipulating people that you constantly have to t=ist the sentences your way. What I said is that you don't let a child =rive alone a car that YOU gave him and let him go faster when he doesn'=t know how to drive just because he is having fun when you are aware he is=going to crash BUT you don't kick him out of the car either. You sit n=xt to him and you teach him how to drive by turning the steering weel if h= goes off track and pulling the break if you need to ( you can't do th=t through a phone or by email).
What you ha=e done after giving the car to the kid is kicking him out after he drove t= fast leaving him alone with no car in the middle of the highway saying &q=ot;l wish you well" knowing he is going to die hitted by another car.=/div>
End of the story: the kid is obviously happ= and grateful he received a car as a gift because without it he couldn'=t have drove until where he is now. However he cannot continue the journey=stranded on a highway.
quite the contrary you tell the child=C2*, you dont know how to drive it takes time to learnn the=kid STEALS the car and crashes it. . you forgive h=m , you tell him his actions have consequences , but he =teals the car again, runs over some other kids , a=d then whines that he doesnt know how to drive. . =br>
Maybe =he kid was just looking for a reaction in order to have closer guidance,
n=t only by having someone telling him but having someone teaching him.
I have a last question= What happened about Cartier and school was 2 years ago. I apologized many=times and you know how sorry I was and I am. You forgave me and we kept ta=king to each other. Exactly 6 months ago,In November we saw each oth=r in Paris and everything was normal. Just after, when I started working f=r you started distancing yourself with no reason, recalling som=thing that happened 2 years ago. My last question is: What did I do in Nov=ember to diserve this ? Is it because I told you I was sad we didn't sl=ep together the last time I saw you ? Because it's since that moment t=at everything became weird. Please tell me the truth
I truly apolo=ize for my mistakes and behavior in the last 2 years. Please tell me what = should do and I'll do it. What results should I bring ? I'll do a=ything for it. I cannot make it through Life without you. You are the only=person who can guide me, I've got no one else.
some point the kid says =, yes I DID IT
it=painful to read
stealing the car, lying about knowing how to drive =( which you also did ). at i have no one to blame but myself.=C2 please dont write me anymore I find
No nothing. - tantrums , crisis aft=r crisis good bye
True. I have no excuses. The only thing I can tell you is that I'm t=ying to do better by learning from my mistakes in order to not repeat them= I've wasted my time by going to parties instead of being serious. Ev=rything was confused in my mind and I didn't really know what path to =ake, it's very easy to get lost when you are young, specially into fak= illusions. Still now, I'm trying to understand myself and who I am. I=believe it takes time and it's different from person to person. Now li=tle by little I've started to focus more. I'm starting to understa=d real life, what are my priorities and things that really matter. Here ar= some actual facts: I've started to earn some money ( which I ^=;ve never did before ) which I believe it's already a small accomplish=ent. I did some babysitting and after 2 paid trial days ( 250 euros per da= ) shooting for Vogue and Dior, I've got hired by one of the best fash=on photographers called ( paid job ). I&=39;m very happy and excited to work and learn from him which is better tha= any photography school. I'm ready to work as long as I need to in ord=r to build my skills and stand out in that field. I think I've achieve= some results and gained some value if I compare myself 2 years ago from n=w. Thanks to you I had the possibility to make many interesting experience= like Even though I didn't=get hired from them, those experiences allowed me to understand what I lik= and what I don't like and shaned in part the person I am. Thanks to and my passion for photography I am now working wi=t doing what I really like. However even though I work hard =nd I am paid I cannot fully support myself to pay a rent and my living in =aris. I really would like to continue through this path, I feel it's t=e right one but I need your help, your support and your advices because I =annot make it by myself. I promise I will use my money wis=ly without throwing it away into futilities like parties and holidays beca=se I want to grow and build my skills, my carrier and hopefully my future =elf.
its easy, go th=ough the last two years of emails that you have sent me . =A0
search for the word "sorry" . or phra=e "I'm sorry, " =A0
how much money do you need.?=C2* a month
Would that be ok for you ?
Jeffrey, l=had no idea what was reality before. You started by sending me an incredib=e amount of money like 10k, sometimes 5k and then when I was going to scho=l you were sending me 4K or 3k a month which I extremely appreciated but I=wasn't prepared for it, I had really no idea at that time what was the=value of money ending up doing stupid things and not taking life seriously= Even if I was told, everything seemed very abstract in my mind. Now that = collapsed I know. Now that I find myself in this situation, that I've=started working and earning some, I understand how hard it is and how much=work there is behind and wish everyday I knew this before... I don't e=rn a house and the money I earn doesn't even cover the rent even thoug= I'm working. Jeffrey, I did understand the lesson. I beg you, please =orgive me. I need your help. I'm drowning, I'm not able to support=myself all alone.
If not I will not be able to continue my journey. I wish I could continue=to work in Paris and assist this amazing photographer. I'm strug=ling to find a house that I can rent in Paris and have to leave the place =here I've been staying for more than a month that a friend landed me o= June 1st. At least, I hope my written English has improve= after all these messages...
I will not =ontinue to argue for this story that happened 2 years ago. What's impo=tant is that I know my limits and what I'm capable of, I will not try =o convince you to believe me if you don't. This is not the issue anywa=s... What I can tell you now is that I'm trying my best to do better b=t can't do this alone.
not=true. I've asked you so many times "how are you"," What=can I do for you", told you so many times that I'll do anything f=r you. I know it's never enough but I never receive an answer from you=when I write you nice things or ask you what you would like. If I am being=selfish right now it's becasue I'm in a difficult situation, want =o prove you that I can make it and that I can keep my word. If you tell me=what would YOU like or need, I'll do it, even after you told me you ne=er loved me... Because I did.
no, that is th= same amount that i gave you before, the same amount that you=screamed I dont care if i spend all the money you gave me on tickets=to new york. . the same amount that you promised to account fo= but broked your promise, the same amount that most people ma=e wroking full time.
youve asked me the same questions 10 times , swore th=t this time was differeent t and then broke the agreements. =C24> each time I told you , if this continues you will rose me, it did and you did
It was not the same situation and I was not earning money. I understood in which direction I want to go but can't do =t alone. If you give me one month of trial I can keep track of all my expe=ses and show you how motivated I am to do better
Not as good as Ted=essay you swore you wrote but lied
AlwYs always about you and what you need or want
i ;I think aabout it ,but this is the EXACT same story for at=least the 5th time
Thank you for taking the time =o think about it...
Not sure if I should be flattered or offended but l=tB9;II take it as a compliment
Because I've changed the way I perceive thi=gs in life and I believe I've matured in many different aspects. I'=ve been working hard, earned some money, found myself and what I liked..=A0 It's already an achievement. I didn't write you "I need&qu=t; or "I want" or "I promise". What I told you this ti=e is to look at my actions and my relusts, nothing else. The fact that you=didn't believe I wrote that message is the perfect example. I took tim= and dedication to write what I wrote and instead of saying: " good j=b, you've improved. I'm proud of you", you said: "=1 know you didn't write it" after I've spent 2hours on it.Q=A0
who wrote that?=C2* tell the truth, as i know you had help
makes little difference to me, =C240 im not sure why you think i should help you? yes y=u need it , yes you want it. but thats the same old story, ov=r and over, each time exactly the same. i realize =ow. blah blah, this time is different blah blah, =C2. i promise blah blah , trust me blah blah,Q=A0 . i want i need I want i need
true, but what in the world does that have to do with any=ne but yourself. . typical. . Q=A0 there are many peopl that ask for help and most take =t seriously, . still not sure why you think i should help you =fter all you have done and no done.
When I first met you I had no sense of money and reality, had a diff=rent mentality and was in a different situation... My emotions took over m= rational part and I became completely blind and stupid. I had different p=iorities. I was spending more time thinking about you, trying to find out =f you cared for me or not and distracting myself going to parties instead =f focusing how I would earn, manage my money and take my life seriously. I=know it's entirely my fault and I blame no one but myself.
Please Jeffrey I'm sorry, I'm sorry I ignored your advice= lied, stole, broke our agreements. I'm sorry I did that. Please=forgive me, I will never do it again
the difference between you =nd the others asking for help, is they have not received, it in the past ,=C2* their histories do not include lying over and over again , ign=ring advice, wasting days and days of my time Isiteinng to whinnng=C24, and broken promise. had tantrums, screaming .etc.= you write you were careless and stupid. . =C2* what you didnt write was I ignored your advice . lied, s=ole. broke our agreements. and am sorry i did that.