Re:

" i had a dream that we had a child ".

I call this the Martin Luther king approach—making up a dream

It allows raising sensitive subjects while blaming ones subconscious.

What does she mean by secure? Financial? Mentored? Companionship? safety. Net?

Shoulder to cry on?

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She will say no. She has a concept of monogamy where that precludes finding her life companion and mixes her up.

A rational person would either say yes or want to detach.

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secure to her is a dynamic concept. . you are to be there ALWAYS in spirit if not in body. . think about a religious persons view of god. he/she is there in good times bad times etc. can talk to , without getting an answer. . is protective though illusionary. I sugget you propose an experiment. . lets have this arrangement I will be there every day you need me to be text, phone etc. I will be diligent and reliable. . we see each other .... times per month, go on vacation , once every... and do our best to enjou each other , at the end of the year we look back to see if it should continue be modified or die. . bayesian . :)

its ok. you will have laid out your position . she will likely not say yes. , but cannot help but think about it. . short term experiment. dont push hard. . fall back to think about it. , even if she says i dont need to , i already know the answer , she wil think about it. / you will give her full time mentorship. , before your dinner , why not walk into prada and buy a 2500 dollar handbag. . no need to open it at the table.

I ll get wrong one and don't want to look like I'm bribing or desperate but I hear you.

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