Re: Crazy

She sent me pictures of real estate she spent yesterday looking at. Not for any plan I was part of. 15 to 20 million 6000 square feet in st James.

I think based on her start up or could have been Chinese guy. Didn't probe.

Also talking about finishing major book on China in next 7 months.barely started.

Seems to make me look like a beacon of clarity re desires in life.

Addiction model of slot machines and golf is random sometimes positive sometimes negative reinforcement. Alas seems relevant.

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based on••• portraying scale of desire. . real estate • read security . . strength is the necessary but not sufficient condition for security. . much rather you use you extra funds for your own benefit „ rather than the UJA

Trying to exude strength. Agree re no UJA. Pondering uses of money.

Increasingly think crazy is crazy and struggling for sake of winning something that is this problematic is stupid. Why do I want to devote my energy to pandering to vacillating foolishness.

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Why do I want to devote my energy to pandering to vacillating foolishness. ?

translation. -dealing with women?

is there a chinese heiroglyph for the word kvetch

Beats me

you should be thrilled that you have the opportunity to have this experience. I suggest you stop whining. enjoy the game. win or lose. . if you miss your putt , do you vow never to play again. :)

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Interesting perspective.

If i stopped improving getting satisfaction I would stop playing any game.

If it is all a game of achieving successful manipulation it makes it less fun if there isn't simple joy in prospect.

Don't much like being preoccupied by it. Rather be preoccupied by helping people like my kids, or making dent in universe, or even thinking about meaning of it all than the shallow materialism of someone I don't especially trust.

Also when not blinded which is 90 percent of time see big risks on this path. Of discovery and even without disciovery losing satisfaction in other things.

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"losing satisfaction " is the point that I have been trying it appears , unsuccessfully , to make. . it is dangerous. !! health wise , life wise , and if unchecked leads to a mild form of depression. much worse than a detox. being engaged , stimulated even with some unpleasantness . better than moping. making a dent ? if thats what you really want ? needs focus, I! doesnt happen as an unintended consequence.

Agree. Focus on dent is where I'd like to go.

I'm just more disillusioned and less captivated than I was and so quest is less energizing.

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