(no subject)

Now that I understood the term "arrangement" and read a few articles about it I understand the dynamics of what you were truly doing and what I represented for you. You were just one of those disgusting men who needs to pay girls in order to have company and sex out of their lonely life. I didn't know there were so many people just like you, doing the same exact things. I'm in shock. It looks like a big theater where everyone is playing a role and nothing is real. Not even our friendship was. I was just living an illusion unconscious about what was going on. You pretended to be my friend/lover and manipulated me the whole time. You used me and then abandoned me, treating me like meat. I guess this is how this dangerous game works that costed me a lot psychologically, emotionally and not only. Real friends don't act this way and friendship is NOT a deal.

Honestly I would have preferred not to see all this and know any of it, staying in my idealized world. I would have been much happier I think

It's so crazy how your perception of life changes when you start to acknowledge things like this.

I hope that with this lesson of life I will be more prepared, careful and lucky in the future in meeting the right people, genuinely REAL and most importantly not fall in the same horrible trap ever again.