Re:

plans?? brock? travel? time to grow up.

I am doing my best to try grow up as best I know how. The job market is tough and I have to market myself heavily online to come close to standing any chance, and that comes with its own concerns for me. So I am navigating my way around these issues as best and quickly as I can.

Brock and I are on good terms and I adore him but he is married for now and living a lifestyle I don't think I could keep up with in a healthy way.

I want to have my own job. Yes it is extremely taxing to find but I believe it will do me good. I am working every day at finding ways to navigate it and trying to build connections.

when I had no idea what would be happening with me travel wise) because I thought it would be nice to have company on the holiday. So she is coming on her way to London where she will be spending most of December and Christmas.

I love you and thank you for all you do for me. It is a tremendous help to me in this period of trying to start a career which seems way tougher than I could ever have thought. I really really really truly see it and appreciate it.

Obviously ideally I would love to be with someone (a little bit stable;) but I have no surety of this which is why I see the only way until that happens is to try to build myself a little to have some income and work toward supporting myself.

I love you

sorry, but i think you should try to move somewhere where the environment is more conducive

Like where?

no sure, but we have to take care to look at where we are, realistically, these schemes to get work, school degrees, visa issues, take a great deal of your time energy and creativity. but have to date produced little in true substance. TIME FOR A CHANGE, no british citizen has a visa issue in the states. opt school, worry, about perfecting a project rather than merely following directions. its getting dangerous for me to allow you to continue to delude yourself. sorry

If we can take time to look where we are and we find suggestions that are not completely anxiety provoking and sudden then that would be nice. Jeffrey I got not such good feedback from a recruitment agency which is why I started with a "scheme". I wanted to talk to you about it in person. British people have to follow the same laws on OPT. If you enter on esta you lose OPT, you can't switch between any visa and esta and still keep visa I don't think.

sweetheart, your fixation with visa is silly, from the beginning you convinced yourself you had an issue. no one ever does or did. school was a way to keep you engaged and happy, it's time.