Re: (No Subject)

I certainly do hope that this time, you understand the finality of your "relationship" with my husband. I hope now you can find true happiness without having a relationship with someone else's husband. I really hope you do. I'm not a person who likes to see other people suffer, no matter what hurts they may have caused. I am not gleeful about your loss. Reid says he always wanted to just be friends with you, but I think he understands because of your (plural) behavior and the damage you have both caused to our marriage and family, that can probably never be. I hear from many people (who don't know what's gone on) that you and I would be great friends. I wish I could say I hope that happens someday, but I'm the kind of woman who loves the sisterhood, not women who sleep with and fall in love with someone else's husband or significant other, no matter how willing the man is to have his ego stroked and no matter how swept away you are by feelings of some kind of deformed mutation of love. I just don't see that kind of friendship between us in the cards. However as I told Reid before he picked up the phone to call you, if he could urge you to suck up your hurt feelings and send me a sincere apology for participating in an arrangement that caused damage to Reid, to yourself, to me, and to our (who has been fighting tears all weekend because of his mother's pain and because he sees the father figure he has admired his whole life as a weak man who has lied and cheated to his mother)....if you can find it in your heart to ask for my forgiveness, I would want very much to forgive you and see you in a light different from the one I have seen you in for years. Perhaps you aren't aware....Reid has told me about his addiction to you before and has asked for my help to break it. He finally found the power to do it because of the depths of his misery and unwillingness to proceed through life as a dishonorable man. I hope you can find a similarly true friend who can do the same for you. I wish you well, believe it or not. Had you not jumped off the phone as quickly as you did (which I perfectly well understand) he would have told you this.

Reid and I have a lot of work to do together to fix the mess you two have caused, but our love is very strong and we will get there. I honestly don't want to add to your hurts by making you think you have destroyed our marriage on top of everything else. I can't imagine you would have rejoiced had that been the case. You haven't destroyed our bond so no worries on that front. It must be hard for you to understand how deep our relationship is since he has not acted that way in his weak behavior with you. In fact, I think he felt he could act out with you, act as though his relationship with you was intense and real, precisely because he knew I would be there for him. He is a great man with great weaknesses. That doesn't make him a monster and I don't think you are either.

Best wishes for your future,
Cheryl Gould

PS Bob Bauer, a dear friend to me and to Reid, cares about you a great deal. He might be a good person for you to draw strength from. He has been a source of comfort and wisdom to me through this. He truly is a wonderful man and I have no doubt he would show you great kindness.

call me again

I have reread this 10 times. The fact that he would permit this message to stand is dispositive.

Sent from my iPad