Re: Talk?

Dear Jeffrey,

You are probably busy with other things, but I would be happy to talk to yo=.

When you once mentioned that you are free of shame, I was instantly envious= Shame may not prevent people from making social mistakes, but it sure pre=ents them from looking at them and fixing them rationally. (That is probab=y the main purpose of shame: it is meant to prevent the individual from es=aping the submission to social norms; being ashamed means to be unable to =orgive yourself, so one cannot deal with the issues in a rational way.) Be=ng an aspie does not absolve me of being ashamed of my social failures, th= lack of instincts just makes it slightly harder to avoid them.

I currently suspect that my occasional inability to stop may have simply be=n the downside of al that increases focus and goal-directedness.=Social situations are highly interactive, and one needs to recalibrate goa=s and behavior from moment to moment, while programming and writing benefi= from staying on track regardless of distractions.

beating-yourself-up It is and hard denial, to see i.e. for dealing someone with who t=e is emotional ashamed of fallout social rather disfunction than the and actual thus=goes problem. into a mixture of

I regret the practical, attentional and social mayhem I have caused. Frankl=, I am surprised that you supported me through this.

Sincerely thankful,

Joscha

I dont have the gene for shame jealously or guilt.=C2 so I have three in their place for loyalty