Re: :-(

Jeffpeff...my heart is broken...do you think it can recover?

What happened

Sent from my iPhone

I am in love with someone I cant have.

We have been together on and off for about 18 months. the periods we have not been together we have been very close friends. We speak to each other everyday and he takes care of me if I am sick or sad...and takes care of me when I am happy...

We had been together again recently and yesterday he said we couldnt do it. He doesnt think he is capable of being in love, (he has never loved and is 33) and he says he wants me to be loved by someone who will be able to love me unequivocally and not have to constantly wonder if they believe in love or are capable of it.(He does also think though that maybe it will happen someday, maybe he hasnt met the person that is right for him...and that makes me sick!!!) I can see it is very painful for him to hurt me and then it becomes a crazy vicious circle because he refuses to leave me when I ask him to, because he wont leave me when I am upset, and then I become more upset. He doesnt want to not have me in his life, he wants to be there for me in every way except sexual, he doesnt want anything physical to happen between us because he cant commit to me. I think in a strange way it makes him feel more secure if he is there when I am upset about it and if he can try and take care of me. When I asked him to leave straight away when it had happened, I said he couldnt help me get through this, I had to do it myself and I could never see him again. I think this is why he refuses to go.Another problem with us being friends is he cant hug me without getting turned on.

I love him so so much, he would be enough for me from now until! forever and I want to have babies with him. He is wonderful, he is exceptionally kind, very intelligent (he is Jewish, i think you are smarter) artistic, has a great sence of humour, is very present, patient and strong. Obviously though, for him being with me is not enough, I think he is still searching for something. One if the most challenging things is my jealousy, I really want to get rid of it, I am insanely jealous and the thought of him with other women makes me physically sick. I dont understand...I love him so much and I want him to have a joyful and happy life, why cant I let him go and be glad for him if he meets someone else or is with other girls???

I am so happy I am coming to see you :-))))))))...we still havent organised dates for internal flights, shall we leave it closer to the time? and I want you to choose what is best for you.

I am sending you lots of love my friend and thinking of you as always...if you know of any way for me to get rid of my jealousy will you let me know please...I want to move past it...it weighs on my little heart...and the light of the day...

Loads of love and many kisses and hugs and sorry for long mail xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx