(no subject)

I am trying to do things differently in order to grow, build my identity and stand up on my own two feet as I said... You are the one person that has always been there for me and the only one I could really rely on. I just didn't expect you would let me go like this after everything... I would like to do something for you to show you my gratitude. I know I've lost a lot of time, patience of yours, credibility and made many mistakes by repeating the same wrong path over and over- I apologize for this. I will never be thankful enough. Thanks to you I've learned so many things that without your support I would have probably never known. You taught me so much about life and myself that I can only be thankful with you. I want to make you happy and I'm sorry I've disappointed you. It's by falling that one learns to walk and thanks to all of these mistakes that I have done over and over I've finally cleared up my mind and understood what are my real goals (for real)

Ps: I am meeting with Jean Baptiste Huynh the photographer on Friday (we went at his studio together once). I think he is the perfect base to start with if I want to learn about photography specially for the use of light. He is excellent in this and I could learn a lot from him. I love his work

I'm sure you might think that photography is not a real job but it can turn into one if I do it well. At the beginning I will earn no money with it since I have to learn and I will probably need to work in a shop or something to earn some money. My question is how do I learn by assisting a photographer if I work in a shop all day? How can I earn money to pay my rent and living and in the same time learn a new skill in order to grow in that specific field? I'm not sure how I should manage this...

if I was smart and beautiful as you said I would be already successful and you would probably be with me instead of ignoring me. I don't even have a degree now

I'm booking my flight to N

Whining

You didn't reply to my message

And if he says yes but it's not paid for the first months? I've got 4 months to live (rent and living), then I'm dead. During these months that I have worked at Alaia I've never went out once, I have no more social life and totally isolated myself from everyone. I'm only 22 and I feel I've completely lost my youth and my joy for life.

do as you wish, I will not be there. If I were you I wouldn't spend any money on anything but essentials. I do not intend to give you any more money. I will be in Europe for most of the next three weeks. I wish you luck.

tell the photographer that you really want to learn and are willing to work harder than anyone he's ever seen. I only wish you well.