Re:

Just so I don't go insane, did I leave the ring in the dining room or the bathroom? remind me to tell you about license plates in Pittsburgh not unrelated to my subway/missing ring theory.

you didn't , we had a picture of your hand from security , so we went out and found a copy so you wouldnpt feel bad

You are impossible.

obviously not. just highly improbable

Highly improbable, at the very least.