(no subject)

Waiting for jean luc...

Joshua Fink: I cried when I came home and saw ur things gone

Joshua Fink: I cried for a few hrs

Joshua Fink: I thought it was tragic

Joshua Fink: I thought if u left it was only because you did not think I was your soulmate

Joshua Fink: I thought you would never leave me no matter what

Joshua Fink: I thought that if I ran out of money and we had to move to a small little place in the woods somewhere....0 would have come with me

Joshua Fink: So when I came home and u left...I was surprised....I thought you would stick with me no matter what

Joshua Fink: I was crying. I was very very sad. And surprised Yes - I was sure u were my soulmate..I would move to the woods with you without hesitating for a second. But the question is would u do the same Joshua Fink: I guess I thought you believed in us so much. That it was not about what I might do for you. You just wanted to be with me and if I was in a bad mood or needed time, you would stick with me no matter what Joshua Fink: I think we both loved each other a lot.....but perhaps needed to communicate better.

I thought u were my soulmate

you made it clear that you wouldn't help me no matter what, that I should find my own way to help myself - marry a gay or another guy etc. Joshua Fink: I did not mean it...I was frustrated and stressed Joshua Fink: And upset Joshua Fink: U know I did not mean it Joshua Fink: And u know I love u very much t least you didn't have to think how to stay in the country nd I would be in Moscow now if Jeffrey hadn't helped And then I thought you went off and married some guy You told me to do so Joshua Fink: I did not mean it...I was very frustrated and upset You wished me good luck with that Joshua Fink: When you came back all dressed up from meeting a potential future husband....my whole face got red Joshua Fink: U saw how upset I was U know that I loved only you - but I needed help, not you being upset at me. My visa situation is not my fault, it was a problem that needed to be solved. Joshua Fink: I love u so much lanichka Joshua Fink: Lanichka Joshua Fink: See some good in me I thought if you were really sure I was your soulmate and your future - u would help. I

love u and I m sure you love me, but perhaps u were not sure about future with me. Otherwise, I don't understand

As I said you were ready to take financial responsibility, but not emotional.

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Joshua Fink: We should sit down and have a heart to heart talk Joshua Fink: I can come see u next week in paris Joshua Fink: Or week after that

And yes - I would go live with u in a little house in the woods, but if the woods requires a special entry permit that only you have - how can i do that? Joshua Fink: If u make me truly believe that you would...I will marry you Joshua Fink: I have been married once....and when I do it again, it will be forever

Joshua Fink: I promise that if I believe you would go live in the little cabin in the woods with me. I will marry you and start a family Joshua Fink: I liked when u cleaned me Joshua Fink: When u did not cook for me...did not think you were serious Joshua Fink: Or jewish things....0 seemed not to care Joshua Fink: Or trying things with other girls Joshua Fink: I love u

I told you that I would learn to cook when I find a good teacher - and I did. And I've been taking my Jewish studies very seriously, I did some reading, went to services and have been in touch with my Rabbi. And I told you I was very excited about playing with girls. In 1.5 years I proved that I was very serious about you and our future. However, I did not get the same certainty from you. Now I do need some time to think. I will talk to you at the end of the week and let you know whether we are meeting in Paris. Now I have to believe that you would follow me to the little cabin...

Joshua Fink: Why would we not meet in paris?

and he has asked 6 times if Elon has given me anything? and what did elon give me? - i ignored and again blabbing about how special we were, that he never loved or felt like this about anyone, how i could calm him down after a stressful day (also mentioned that i could not hike for many hours - but eventually since i m in better shape now - he thinks i could enjoy hiking more; ), that he liked how i invented new things in bed and always wanted to try new things and how great it was; etc etc

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