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woudl you prefer just you and i , on sat. ? I will leave.at home so you and i can spend some more alone time please read your email to me from the summer.

8/26/12

to me

Thanks for your email, I understand. I am sorry that I was not helpful enough, I will try to pay more attention to what you say and be more help, please understand that I may not be 100% perfect right away, it would be helpful if you tell me when I make mistakes, because many times at this stage I may not realize them. I understand you need novelty, so I'll try to use my fantasy better to come up with something you/we may like, if there is anything you would like to try together, please help me with that, ?in open..

I still feel a little off balance after our conversation in PB, I am sorry that I made you feel bad, I never realized that sexual questions about your past would have such consequences, I wouldn't have asked. I don't like the fact that it made you think of jealousy and things that you despise, as you said. I would like you to know that I consider the girls, who are part of your family, as friends, and some of them I trust. So if you had any type of sexual activities/plays with them in the past, it's in the past, it has nothing to do with now, so why would it bother me?if that would be now, it would probably kill my affection to you, would feel disgusting, as they are friends, but nothing to do with jealousy, at least for me. But you've made this question clear to me once don't even want to think of it again. if you meant jealousy in terms of novelty with new girls I would like you to understand something please: I understand you need it, however these are the things that don't feel natural to me, it feels somewhat dirty to me, so if that is not a lot to ask, please enjoy it but keep me away from it and these people, as it will constantly numb some of my feelings to you, don't know what it is, i think it feels similar to me when someone scares me and i loose emotions i've had, i don't want it to happen, wish it wouldn't work that way, but it does. So I would rather concentrate on something positive and constructive and see you being happy. And as I said, I will stay with you no matter what, as long as you are happy.I love you. And I am very grateful to you for everything you've done. Enjoy your time on the island, if I can be helpful with anything I will be happy to.