(no subject)
If you have taught me anything over the years it is that there is always a way as long as you make enough of an effort. Some things are not worth it but there is a way. It was one of the most attractive qualities about you. You were the master of doing the impossible that's why hearing you say the opposite is always disturbing. It doesn't mean it can't be done, it only means you haven't tried hard enough...your words, not mine.
I never said I would only fly as your girlfriend. That conversation was strictly about sex...it had nothing to do with flying, only no more sleeping together without a relationship. You chose to walk away claiming you "don't want a girlfriend" (cowardly way out). The result of eliminating sex was the end of the friendship from your side. You became angry and aggressive. You made a comment about being annoyed NOT because I wouldn't fly (I said I still would!), but because I was to be on the Africa trip for "sex and sleeping" and "my replacement couldn't leave the country". The remark made no sense to me at the time and you quickly changed the subject, but it is now clear that you were talking about Karyna and the restrictions of her immigration fraud. That means you had been lying to me about not sleeping with anyone else during the time you slept and traveled with me. I do not forget these conversations and I do not forget being lied to. You are surprised I am angry...It takes a lot of discipline to forgive you for another let-down.
I do not want to be with you, but it upsets me to see you use the same exact patterns to seduce, manipulate, and ultimately control and hurt other girls. I don't even like them and I actually feel guilty about knowing how they will end up. Meeting your latest Russian was like watching a person on death row eating their last lavish meal without knowing what's about to happen. That girl couldn't handle you if you came with instructions. I know what you are capable of and I will always be protective of you out of pure loyalty and stubbornness but my conscience is far from clear.
The last phone conversation was just silly. Don't try to say you only had me around 'to fly' for those six months last year, sex played no role or you don't recall having any. It is simply untrue. You made it clear the flying was for my benefit. Seeing that your memory doesn't serve you well, let me remind you that you had daily new sex and more actual sex with me than even when I first met you. That's a lot. You kept telling me how happy you were and how perfect our time together was. You said there was nobody you would rather be with and we were having an amazing time. You invited me to travel on all future interesting trips. You offered me a Learjet and a Maserati, which I refused solely out of respect for you, knowing your kind phase would not last! You tried to convince me there were no strings attached to your gifts but I did not want you to look back and in any way think I was with you because of gifts and things. And so I am left with nothing again, feeling used for sex and taken advantage of. At least I can say I looked out for your feelings. But you better realize your current recollection of those 6 months is very very skewed. It doesn't change the current situation in any way but I won't listen to you lie to yourself and in any way diminish the time we spent together.
There is no need to respond.
bye