Re:

thanks for agreeing to fly. Just to be clear. and to avoid dissappointments and misunderstanding, I was quite shocked that after weeks ofplanning for my big trip, and its multitude of changes from Kazak to africa. where you and I had agreed you would fly the world journey. and after you specificaly raised the issue that you had found troubling re sex and no girlfriend designation- you told me„ just forget it, You can't do it. , you don't get it , lets just continue as is it will be fine . after that I made as many gestures of true friendship.when I thought of it. giving you the plane to fly with larry, inviting you to parties , doing what I could do. you =- as you clearly have a right to do , I guess, decided that and told me - I m sorry this is not enought " I just don't sleep with random people". I either get to be your girlfriend, or I am changing the deal. ( only days before we were schedule to leave ) . you said sorry we are stuck.. and i had to scramble in what was a failed attempt to find both a flying and sleeping replacement for a complex trip. ( not in the same person). I am there for you, if you need anything. , I will see you tomorrow to discuss further, but I am now once again on fragile ground. not being certain of the next change

I sense I have offended you. I didn't mean to do that. I can see my timing was bad and I'm sorry about that.

I couldn't handle being your 'friend with benefits' and I needed to make that clear before things got out of control. I tried going along with it as long as I could after a failed attempt to resolve it a few weeks earlier, but it quickly became clear I am really not the right girl for casual sex/sleep with you. I wish I could be. I loved spending time with you.

I understand being annoyed, but one really has to spin the story to arrive at the conclusion that this makes me generally unreliable. I can agree it makes me an unreliable sleep/booty call who is too sensitive for the position.

You had to 'scramble to find a sleeping replacement.' Doesn't that say it all? Not a compromise or a negotiation...replacement was your default solution. Who wants to be a replaceable sleeping partner?

You say you don't want a girlfriend. I understand that means you don't want to lose your freedom. Those are two different things. Sooner or later, you will realize you want, and need, a life partner. Hopefully you will also come to understand that to keep one, you do need to make small compromises and let them be a part of your life in a role that is not so disposable. I don't know how many girls it's going to take for you to get there, but I am afraid it will be too late to have the best one back. I asked for so little, I can't imagine a better deal for you.

I understand your reservations, you've been burned before. But you threw away something you said made you happy, because of a word. And my need for the small change clearly upset you. It required the smallest compromise with a huge upside and if you wanted to continue, you easily could have. Choosing not to, and not suggesting any alternatives, only makes perfect sense if you didn't care enough for what you had, to even continue the conversation. And in that case it was the perfect solution - a good end to what could have been a sad realization later on, and an opportunity to turn it into something simple and honest, like a real friendship.

I don't want things to be tense or uncomfortable for you in any way. So when you think about where you would you like to go from here, talk to me. I will be disappointed if you choose not to see me or fly with me but I only have good feelings for you and I want you to be happy.

you forget, I tried , In the middle of lots of work = I did have a conversation , I had you to my house. you didn;t listen, you mere;y repeated your new take it or leave it demand. only one week before a big trip. it was nt nice, there was absoulutely no consideration for how it would affect me. none. it was all about you. there was no dialougue„ I want what i want , take it or leave it. I chose to leave it , and then you point out the strange fact that as a result of your decision i needed to find a sleepign replacement, IF you choose not to fly today„ I will also have to find a replacement. who wants to be a replacebale pilot you will say. your conclusion was we are stuck. you proposed two roads.. you choose? unreliable is unpredictable and difficult . You didn't comew to me and say jeffrey I have a problem, I am finding this difficult /I thought i was ok but im not. what do you suggest. .. you said jeffrey Im not doing this without more. here are your choices. IF you told me this morning you decided not to fly, i would have not been surprised .. your I Asked for so little. i only wanted what you were very clear in saying you didn't . I hope you fly today, . but if you choose not to please tell larry early..