Private? Stress

Dear John

I have been experiencing very strange symptoms in my body and in my thoughts as a result of a culmination of extremely stressful events that have triggered recollections about my life. The last few weeks I have had a suspicion that there is a parasite in my system causing an imbalance in the way my body has been functioning and I have felt the need to push people away from me. I have been preoccupied with cleaning up my life and changing old patterns and habits. Not smoking anymore and abstaining from drinking alcohol has brought about a greater awareness of my bodies real needs. I have been experiencing pain and discomfort and knots moving around to different locations in my abdominal cavity, tingling in my spinal column, a creepiness in my nervous system, stiffness in my back and neck, strange headaches and popping crunching noises coming from my skeletal structure I believe it has given the cells in my body a chance to begin waking up, the good and the bad! I realise that I need to do more for myself in order to satisfy my need for physical, spiritual and mental well being. My survival skills in today's world are limited because of my dissociation when I'm separated from myself and allow someone in to my life not fully knowing where the level of expectation will go. I feel that by incorporating the needs of another into ones personal space it invites a change in the dynamic happening in the chemistry of one's being. When one has shared with the essence of another by a coming together in mind, body or spirit it gives life to new ideas, like an amalgamation within a structure, when one party withdraws from the union, interaction or agreement it takes times to stabilise especially when traces of another life force remain to become a part of how one continues the joumey of life. Shared experiences leave impressions in the cell memory or fibre of one's being which during times of growth will manifest into a creation of it's own...the duality that exists in the shift between having the trace of expression of another without their physical being present can leave one feeling confused when trying to explain a new position that comes with knowledge gained. Being in a space of having to share ones ideas or resources with new circles can feel exposing and threatening. A time for building resiliency is required.

From,

Francis.
Francis Jardine-Deuss