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Got my 2nd and 3rd speeding ticket!!!! How is this possible??? I have a 2.0 Japanese engine, I can't go faster than a rabbit humps!

 

Interviewing:

Went for interview with Abu Dhabi Investment Authority (ADIA), the largest sovereign private equity fund in the world. Took their 3 hour test and then they asked me if I wanted to be a secretary!

 

I don't want to brag about my MBA, but had to say: "I have a $100,000 MBA from one of the highest ranked universities in the world. No, I DON'T want to be a secretary."

The retarded HR woman replied: "Not even if we make you an Executive Assistant to the CIO?"

My reply: "I used to work for a very powerful and wealthy man in New York. To go and work as a secretary to some nobody CEO  in the Middle East is N-O-T-H-I-N-G to me, then I might as well go back to New York." (In one sentence I managed to degrade the region - which they hate - and to belittle the CEO of an $800 BILLION fund - who ranks higher than the CIO - to make the wound deeper, not to mention digging myself deeper)

 

I do realize that the CEO, or even CIO, at ADIA probably is some evil wealthy sheikh, but I also realized that I had just wasted a whole day going to Abu Dhabi for this bullshit. ...probably racking up a few speeding tickets on the way.

 

I'm wondering if the psychological test they made me take will say I have an attitude problem...?  So when's the 2nd interview...?

 

I had two other interviews as Client Relationship Manager and Business Planner (turned out to be a secretary position). The salaries are around AED12,000 ($3,000) per month... plus an imaginary bonus of AED 0-4,000.

 

They told me the salary will cover my expenses and the imaginary bonus will cover savings, vacation, shopping etc.

In Dubai the Real World, the salary doesn't come close to covering my rent. To no surprise both these idiots who offered these positions to me on the spot were Pakistani... and you wonder why the Westerners hate the Pakis and Indians.

 

I want to write them rude "thank-you" emails, but since I already managed to piss off the largest private equity firm in the world this week, I've been busy enough.

 

For the first time in a really long time, I will date normal guys. I've always dated someone who was "the son of _________ (fill in important / shady name)".

 

What I've realized is that what makes a guy a real man is not how many millions he managed to launder and how many people he got killed in the process, but how he treats people around him and what person he choses to be, how much he respects a woman, his friends and family.  

(Disclaimer: First sentence is very sarcastic, so please...) 

 

So La Familia Steen, you can come to my wedding again because I'm not going to marry a shady muslim.  

 

So for the first time in my life I will venture into unchartered waters and try to date a normal guy. How weird and unnatural will that be?

 

My girlfriend tried to hook me up with a British manager at DHL. Come on! When I say "normal guy" I mean some cooky overachiever who went to a worldclass university, has an overpaid job and drives a Range Rover! Did you miss the sign in my forehead that says "stuck-up princess"?

 

Russian Quasi-hooker:

The girl who thought it was sad that I don't charge a boyfriend for sex came to Dubai on one of her Sugar Daddy's finances. He was very nice to her, yet she was a mean bitch to him. Finally he was man enough to attempt to kick her out.

 

She wanted to stay at my place and me to be her driver. I'm not Hookers Charity Foundation. Not gonna happen, sweetheart.

 

ML, it was very good advice to stay away from the skanks!

 

Geographical focus:

A year ago I would trip over myself for the Lebanese men. I hated the Lebanese women after my bad experience...

 

Then I proceeded to loving Saudi men and HATING Paki women in Dubai. I've moved on from Saudi. The beheadings just don't turn me on...

 

I've shifted my geographical focus to Eastern Europe. The men are men, not a pathetic excuse for a man. Most of the women are straight arrows. Whatever they are (hookers or not), they make no fuss about it. They are no threat to me since we're in different leagues.

 

I met some lovely Indian, Russian and Kazakhstanian non-hooker-girls at a party. They completely removed my prejudice that Russians are hookers and Indians are plain nasty.

 

The Kazakhstanian lady told me I look Kazakh! With the movie Borat fresh in my mind, I explained to her that in my village we don't rape cows.

 

On a serious note:  I've never lived in a place where racism is so pronounced.

 

1. Forget about background, family, money, career. It's how you treat people close to you that determines what kind of person you are.

 

2. Never let your guard down in Dubai (actually I re-learn this every week)

 

3. Don't let a Saudi in because he's trouble (seems like I should've learned this 10 months ago so I'm dumber than a lab-rat because they actually learn)

 

The last few days I've suffered from bronchitis so I tried to rest, drink a lot of water and eat chicken soap. I made a batch yesterday. Doesn't taste great... Could also be because I don't like chicken soap...

 

Starting my new, not-so-underpaid job on Sunday. Back to investment banking, but at least it pays the bills.

 

BIG HUGS TO ALL OF YOU!!!! :)
--
Cecilia Steen
Dubai Mobile +971 50 940 2062