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I went to the mall and there was a spooky silence there.

Last night I went to Madinat Jumeirah for Kung Pao Chicken. All cars were re-routed to park in the Convention Center instead of the regular parking. When I came back to the parking garage I was the only person there. There was a dead-silence since the A/C wasn't on (yes, we A/C our garages). I felt like Tom Cruise in Vanilla Sky.

Between Ramadan and mourning, this city can be pretty spooky. You can feel the undercurrents, but you don't know what they mean or why they're there.

CRAPPY BUILDINGS

The floorplates in my guestroom are coming out. They have already been fixed twice in the living room. This makes me wonder how much the structure of this building is moving…

MAC 1

All my colleagues are down on their knees from exhaustion. It's not because of work, though, but life. Everyone says I look very tired. A client told me that I didn't sound fabulous on the phone, but my tiredness is very apparent in my voice.

GIRLS' DINNER

7 girls in Dubai. Some women here are amazing! It's shocking considering how many lowlifes there are here. The dinner left me feeling happier and more empowered than I have in a long time. I've been in a rut for a while.

FLOOR PLATES

Fabulous news! My neighbor told that the building is fine, but the floorplates don't have any adhesive underneath them, hence they're coming up. Oh goodie, because I thought it was something bad!

MAC 2

I've been entrusted to babysit the Chairman of one of our shareholding companies. At least it's better than the office. Investment banking is so boring. It's very similar to living in Bahrain: it takes boring to a new level.

DUBAI

This is a social experiment for how much boredom, superficiality, heat, sand and bottom-of-the-barrel Brits a person can take. A lot apparently...

THE FINGER

Someone gave the finger when he refused to let me reverse in to a parking space. I took his registration number and am now contemplating whether I should make a police report or not. The finger is a pretty serious offence in this country – especially to a woman - and if convicted, he will face

1.     Deportation or

2.     Jail time or

3.     Jail time + deportation

Even if it never goes to court, would you really want a phone call on your mobile from the Dubai Police Dept? Not really.

POLICE

When you're informed by the police in Dubai, it's not like in the U.S. where they come to your door or send you a notice in the mail. It's informal, they call you on your mobile phone number, which you never knew they had.

Then you can rest assured that you will not be able to leave the country since your passport number already has been sent to authorities and your bank accounts may or may not have been frozen.

To all you expats who were stupid enough to come here, WELCOME TO DUBAI!