Re:
When Katy said I remind her of a Lion, should I remind
her I only have two legs, and no mane. ? It appears
you have forgotten how many times in the past two
weeks alone, i have complemented you on how good you
look, or how I appreciated the keds.. , I love you and
would like to find a solution, .
--- nadia marcinkova nadja2102@yahoo.com wrote:
I looked up definitions of a spoiled child. The
problem is I am not your child, you are not a parent
figure to me and cannot expect me to obey you like a
little kid and get punished if I misbehave...
But If you want to think about me as a spoiled
child, here is an idea from an article ;
“If you are worried that your children are
spoiled, ask yourself about the kinds of attention
you give them. Do you give children positive
attention when they are well-behaved? Parents who
find themselves focusing on the negative things
children do also need to notice them when they are
happy and occupied…Regularly offering kind words and
attention removes the need for your children to
demand attention in less acceptable ways.”You seem to like definitions.. Do these signs of
‘Abusive partner behavior ’ remind you of anyone ? :
Verbal Abuse: In addition to saying things that
are meant to be cruel and hurtful, this can be seen
when the abuser degrades the partner, cursing
her/him, running down any of her/his
accomplishments. The abuser will tell the partner
that s/he is stupid and unable to function without
him/her. This may involve waking the partner up to
verbally abuse her/him or not letting her/him go to
sleep.
Rigid Sex Roles: The abuser expects the partner to
serve them; the abuser may say the partner must stay
at home, that s/he must obey in all things - even
things that are criminal in nature. In heterosexual
relationships, the abuser will see women as inferior
to men, responsible for menial tasks, stupid, and
unable to be a whole person without a relationship.
Controlling Behavior: At first, the abuser will
say this behavior is because s/he is concerned for
the victim's safety, her/his need to use her/his
time well, or her/his need to make good decisions.
The abuser will be angry if the partner is "late" ..
The abuser will question the partner closely about
where s/he went, whom s/he talked to. As this
behavior worsens, the abuser may not let the partner
make personal decisions about the house, what to
wear, or going to church. The abuser may keep all
the money or even make the partner ask permission to
leave the house or room.
"Playful" Use of Force in Sex: This kind of person
may like to throw the partner down and hold her/him
down during sex. S/he may want to act out fantasies
during sex where the partner is helpless. The abuser
is letting the partner know that the idea of rape is
exciting. He/she may show little concern about
whether the partner wants to have sex and uses
sulking or anger to manipulate her/him into
compliance. The abuser may start having sex with the
partner while s/he is sleeping, or demand sex when
s/he is ill or tired.
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde: Many victims are confused
by their abuser's "sudden" changes in mood - they
may think the abuser has some special mental problem
because one minute she is nice and the next s/he is
exploding. Explosiveness and moodiness are typical
of people who abuse their partners, and these
behaviors are related to other characteristics like
hypersensitivity.
Blames Others For Problems:
The abuser may make mistakes and then blame the
partner for upsetting him/her and keeping him/her
from concentrating on the work. The abuser will tell
the partner s/he is at fault for almost anything
that goes wrong.
Any Force During an Argument: This may involve a
batterer holding the partner down, physically
restraining her/him from leaving the room, and
pushing or shoving. They may hold the victim against
the wall and say "you are going to listen to me!"
…I Love you
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