What'd the duck say to the prostitute? “Put it on my bill."
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starting 8pm, Monday, July 13th! and all Mondays thereafter forever! "The Jackie Martling Show" Broadway Comedy Club 318 West 53rd St. (8th & 9th) New York New York (212) 757-2323
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Two drunks are on the subway.
The first drunk says, "Wh-what time is it?"
The second drunk pulls out his cigarette lighter, looks at it, and says, "I-it's April 9th." The first drunk says, "W-we should've got off at the last stop."
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please follow me on Twitter! get a new (?) joke every day at 4:20 pm EST... @JackieMartling
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Mrs. Hartke comes home after visiting her relatives for two weeks and finds that her husband, who was too lazy to go to the supermarket, has eaten all the dog food in the house.
She calls the doctor and says, "Doc, you have to do something. My husband ate a half a case of dog food."
The doctor says, "Relax, Mrs. Hartke, it can't hurt him. There's nothing to worry about."
The next day, the doctor answers his phone, and it's Mrs. Hartke.
She says, “Nothing to worry about, huh, doc? Well, I hope you're satisfied. My husband's dead."
The doctor says, "Dead? From eating dog food? I can't understand it. What happened?"
She says, "He was lying in the driveway licking his balls and I backed the car over him."
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8pm this Saturday, May 9th The RRazz Room New Hope
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