failure to be transparent about HIV. (The all-male group also noted "women's selfish impatience with erectile dysfunction,” "women preferring men who last longer," "women preferring men with a lot of money,” and "women not loving their husbands enough" as contributing factors to fidelity failure.) The group seemed pleased to work together, and eager to address the problem. The question of members being pro- or anti-polygamy was,
apparently, only a side note.
As it happens, there are plenty of polygamy problems that have nothing to do with HIV/AIDS. These divisions would exist without the disease. For instance, some preachers who don't support polygamy will sanction divorce and remarriage. One man told me that "true" polygamous marriage -- in which a man has many wives, all supported simultaneously -- is slowly being replaced: rich men now often take younger wives, but divorce and cast aside the previous wives first. The "new" approach looks suspiciously like the Western model of "serial monogamy”... except that the women, left with few resources, rarely marry again. (The gender inequality is highlighted when only one partner has HIV: an HIV-positive man will likely be nursed by his wife, while HIV- positive women can fear anything from abuse to abandonment.) Partly because abandonment is getting so common and partly due to doctrinal interpretations, there is yet a third group of church leaders who not only reject polygamy but refuse to remarry divorced people.
Most interestingly, I've noticed that from some perspectives, the current system appears to stack the moral deck in favor of polygyny. A lot of the time, people will claim that there are only three alternatives: (1) abandonment and/or deadbeat fatherhood, (2) cheating, or (3) overt polygyny. If those are the alternatives, then even empowered women will argue in favor of polygyny -- though not happily, since they're quite conscious that a system supporting polygamy without polyandry is completely unfair.
For example, in the aforementioned July 2009 New African piece, titled "The Sins of Our Fathers," Akua Djanie reflects bitterly upon a father who ignored her mother in favor of his second wife. She writes that she "will encourage [her sons] to have a relationship with only one woman at a time. And if they make the mistake of having children from different women, I will make sure they are responsible for each and every one of them." Then, however, she asserts that "although I myself would never wish to be in such a [polygamous] relationship, I think it can work, does work, and has worked in the past"; that "the issue is not so much with the pros and cons of polygamy, but more with the irresponsible behavior of some men"; and that "African men are still as polygamous as they were in my father's heyday. In fact I believe that polygamy will never go away." Djanie doesn't mention HIV once.
(It's worth noting that Djanie is very aware of Western cultural imperialism; she loathes and deconstructs those who downgrade African culture in favor of Western. For instance, her November 2009 New African piece was about how frustrating it is that Africans usually model Christmas on Western standards, showing images of white children frolicking in Alpine snow. Thus, her argument against polygamy is especially striking.)
Recently, I spoke to some grassroots HIV educators who go door-to-door in their rural villages. They keep a list of different prevention tactics that they discuss with their neighbors. Glancing through, I saw both Zero Grazing and Be Faithful side-by-side. "I
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