[theory] Body Chemistry and S&M
This was originally published in 2011. I don't normally write basic "how-to" posts like this, but every once in a while I see a gap I just have to fill.
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Body Chemistry and S&M
I often think that good physical health is a widely-ignored element of good sex. I am obviously not saying that people in poor health can't have good sex (and in fact, I certainly hope they do -- more power to 'em). But it consistently amazes me how much my physical health factors into my sexuality, especially S&M. I am by no means an expert on this topic, but here are some examples:
* Food. I am both less interested in sex and in S&M when I'm hungry; ensuring that I've eaten well before I take some punishment is especially crucial. I try to eat well in general, but if I'm planning to have a heavy S&M encounter, I don't cut myself any slack. I try to specifically ensure that I eat enough protein before the date and I try to include some vitamin-heavy foods like beets, leafy green vegetables, etc. Eggs are a good source of protein; nuts, beans and tofu are my primary protein sources. If I don't have enough protein available for whatever reason, I at least eat enough food that I won't be hungry when I see my partner.
Part of the reason I'm writing this right now is that I've had trouble finding useful resources on the Internet for what people recommend as good pre- or post-S&M food, especially during aftercare. "Aftercare" is an S&M term for how people end their S&M encounters. One excellent page on aftercare describes it thusly:
Aftercare is the last act of the SM drama. It is the culmination, the pulling together of all loose ends, the finishing touches, the final communion between sharers of the SM ritual, the phase where the participants (usually the tops) formally give the fantasy scene a context in everyday reality. Its technical purpose is to transition both players from the elevated states created in a scene [i.e., an S&M encounter] back into normalcy, returning to the motor control and awareness they will need to drive home once the scene is over. But as any good SM practitioner will tell you, it's much more than that. It is the time after the action when the participants come together in mutual affirmation that something special was created and shared. It is when affection and closeness is offered and sought. It is, at very least, the proper time to express thanks to the person who has shared this tiny segment of your life with you. It can be, and often is, the most beautiful part of a scene, and it is part of the scene. To skip it altogether is as rude as having dinner at a friend's house and then bolting once you've eaten your fill.
A lot of tops keep food and water on hand to give bottoms at the end of a scene, which I think is probably a good idea. (Eating post-scene doesn't feel necessary for me as a bottom, but it might if I weren't so careful about what I eat beforehand.) Some people say that fruit or fruit juice is the way to go -- and indeed, it will give the bottom's system a sugar boost and may make them feel better for that reason -- but I would personally rather eat a protein bar, and I have some friends who feel the same way. Dungeons usually serve snacks, although the snacks aren't always very healthy.
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