made the shower a million times easier to deal with,” he said later. "And I had a raging erection the whole time.”
Aren't submissives awesome? I pity those of you who lack submissive tendencies.
Just because anything on the Internet can and will be misread, I will conclude this post by hammering down the point that this is all a thought experiment, and I do not actually think vanilla people are any less wonderful than S&M people. It's okay vanilla folks. I love you just the way you are.
te Kk ok This post can be found on the Internet at:
http://clarissethorn.com/blog/2011/06/21/sm-superpowers/
S&M: [theory] BDSM Can Be "Love Sex" Too
In early 2011, my fellow sex blogger Rachel Rabbit White asked me to participate in her initiative "Lady Porn Day." This was the result. There's a list of relevant links at the end of the online version of this article.
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BDSM Can Be "Love Sex" Too
I'm not a big porn consumer, but I have no problem with porn in itself. When I have a problem with porn, it's because I have a problem with how it was made: because there are labor issues, or questions of the actors' consent. Sometimes, I get frustrated with the context in which porn exists or the stereotypes it expresses -- but there, the problem is with the context and the stereotypes, not with porn in itself. I tend to think that most anti- porn anxiety arises from irrational grossed-out reactions and stereotype-created fears, and I try to open up conversations about the ethics of making porn whenever I can.
This isn't to say I don't get angry because many people in our society are pressured to have sex that doesn't work for them -- but that's not the fault of porn. I certainly get frustrated by sexual stereotypes, but I don't think porn created those stereotypes.
One stereotype I've been thinking about a lot lately -- one that I see expressed over and over in BDSM porn -- is the idea that BDSMers don't love our partners, or that love can't be part of a BDSM relationship. Here's a quotation from Pat Califia's Speaking Sex To Power that touches on this (note: contains spoilers about the endings of three famous BDSM novels -- Story of O, Return to the Chateau and Nine And A Half Weeks):
I still remember how crushed I was when I read Story of O and Return to the Chateau
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