Jerry: Anyway, | might get this Stand-up Comedy Award tonight, and I' m_ trying to think of what to say that will sound completely spontaneous. So, Kramer, what’ s your current scheme?
Kramer: Okay, | got this idea because of the insurance companies. Blue Cross will pay for six Viagra pills a month. Well, that’ s very arbitrary, isn’ tit? | mean | get six hard-ons in one day.
Jerry: That’ s the national average, you know, six hard-ons a day.
Kramer: Jerry, believe me, Kramer don’ t have “average” hard- ons. But here’ s my merchandising plan. It’ s for one-night stands—a combination package of Viagra and RU486, the morning-after pill. It’ sa natural for the unisex market.
[Cut to the restaurant. Elaine and George are sitting at the table]
Elaine: But, George, that’ s stealing.
George: Yep. And from my own parents.
Elaine: You have no scruples. How do you know your father isn’ t counting the number of times he “makes whoopee” with your mother? He’ Il rea/ize that you took some of his Viagra pills when he thinks he has nine more times to go but the bottle has only five pills left?
George: You think he keeps a tally sheet? He’ II never even suspect.
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