The Missing Episode of Seinfeld
[erry Seinfeld is onstage at a comedy club]
Jerry: Did God look down at Adam and Eve one day and say, “Oops, | forgot something. Let there be erections.” So Adam got the first hard- on in history. But God forgot to say when. And that’ s why men don’ t always get an erection when they want one. Women don’ t know it, but sometimes men have to actually pray for a hard-on. “Please, God, |’ Il be sensitive to her needs, | promise, oh God, please, just make it hard...”
[Cut to George Costanza, having dinner with his parents. There is no conversation, but George’ s father is smiling, then chortles out loud.]
George: What! What! What’ s so funny? Is it because lI’ m becoming more like you every day?
George’ s father: Should | tell’ im? I’ m gonna tell’ im.
George’ s mother: No, don’ t tell’ im. It’ s private between you and me. It’ s none of his beeswax.
George: C' mon, stop teasing me, | wanna know, whatever it is, | wanna know, so c’ mon, tell me.
George’ s father: Okay, |’ m gonna tell ' im. |’ ve been taking Viagra, George, and it really works. Your mother and | have been making
whoopee like it was going out of style.
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