I love you and want you to be happy. I recognize that having the feeling of your life , not in your own control, being" yanked from underneath" must be frustrating. But that not in my control is a comfortable illusion. " it wasn't my fault " explanation of most issues, whether they relate to us, or to outside events allows you to ignore your role and abdicate all responsibility, . The you raised in your letter ;are my monthly e mails.. (my statement regarding was though you think otherwise she gets things in exchange for accomplishing the tasks that I have requested - no more no less)„ my changing my mind about cooking, my irritability, my telling you to leave. My annoyance at "" the first sign of imperfection. " My boring conversations about errands. Im cold and distant., IT appears form your letter that my "responses" ,are really at the heart of the problem. you suggested going back to 0 so that you could spend time as you please. I asked what that meant. Did it mean I have to lose 15 pounds and find a circle of silver hair for my head, and you have to gain 15, and find a triangle of dark? Does it mean , I go back to having more, and you less. Does it mean you give back the dog, blackberry and things, and move into a models apt. ? needing my own space, you take as an insult As opposed to a need I have tried to convey the need for you to contribute to our partnership. I have asked , as your last shrink asked for you to construct a role, and then live up to it. Though you letter suggests it, I have never questioned your loyalty , protective instinct or faithfulness to me. You have never questioned the same qualities in . . but really does have to be concerned about her life being yanked. isn't asked to do more than roll over. And even she doesn't expect to be given er treats when she refuses. I read you surge email , I thought it was the ovulation day, you are right . EFTA01154661